The 21st Century Teenager

Being a teenager in the 21st century is rather daunting. It is hard to avoid the constant bombardment of pop culture and media images. Today’s teens are no longer worrying about acne and puberty and what they are going to do after graduating from high school; rather they are faced with more life-threatening and life-changing issues which for their age and considering their mental development, is very tough. I remember when I was a teenager; it was quite different from when I was just a little child who saw the world in rainbow colors. As a teenager, I felt different, thought differently and saw everybody differently. I became more aware of myself and others around me. Although I wasn’t yet a full adult, I was growing into one every day and I began to see life in a different way. I didn’t understand why I was so depressed, sad, angry, frustrated and cold. More so, I didn’t want to be told what to do anymore and as much as I could, I didn’t even want to do what I was told to do. I realized I wasn’t the only one feeling or acting like this, there were many other teenagers with similar experiences but it hasn’t always been this way with teenagers, especially in the older centuries. Although there was no major event or trend that signifies the teenagers of the 1900s, they simply did as their parents told them to do because there was more respect for authority back then, which is a far cry from the rebellious way many 21st century teenagers now live.

There is no doubt that media and entertainment has had a profound influence on teenagers in the 20th and 21st century. Young people no longer see their parents as role models; rather movie and music stars have now being adopted as their role models. Many put up the posters of these celebrities in their rooms and literally idolize them. My guess is that many parents thought the only influence they were up against was TV but they didn’t see social media coming. Little did they know that social media would have an even greater influence on their teenagers. 

A CNN documentary titled #Being13 was done in October 2015 to show just how much time teenagers spend on social media and what it means to them. It was a big discovery and a huge shock. One 13 year old teenager actually said "I would rather not eat for a week than get my phone taken away. It's really bad, I literally feel like I'm going to die." Another 13 year old said, "When I get my phone taken away, I feel kind of naked, I do feel kind of empty without my phone." Many of them now see social media as their life, a world that is more real than their physical world. It’s almost as if the number of friends, likes, followers, retweets they have on social media is much more important than their school grades. I once heard of a tragic story of a young teenage boy in UK who committed suicide because a group of boys threatened to post his nude picture on Facebook and make it viral. Apparently, the boy wanted to send his picture to a girl he liked but mistakenly sent it to another boy who then showed his friends. Out of fear of having is nude picture seen by the whole world, he committed suicide. 

The effect of technology, media and entertainment has given rise to deep-seated issues that teenagers are facing today which wouldn’t even have been heard of 100 or 200 years ago. Issues such as teenage pregnancy, abortion, cyberbullying, school violence, shootings, eating disorders, obesity, choking game, drug abuse, and smoking, mental health issues and so on, in fact the list is endless. As if all these are not enough, many teenagers even have to live with abusive parents who are into drugs or alcoholism. With all these cases, one begins to wonder where to draw the line between teenage-hood and adulthood. When teenagers are facing problems that adults also face or even the ones that adults find shocking, (such as choking game which involves teens who try to strangulate themselves or have a friend strangle or choke them until they pass out). Unfortunately, too many of these kids who pass out especially when they do something to choke themselves when they are alone don't ever wake up. It is becoming clearer and clearer that the only thing differentiating this young group of people from adults is their age and not the weight of the burdens they have to bear. 

100 years ago, before the TV and internet came; teenagers only had to do what their parents told them to do. There wasn’t much external influence that told them to do otherwise or try something they knew their parents would not approve off. Although media and technology have had good impacts on the society in many ways, the side effects it is having on young people is so much more than anyone could have envisaged. Should we or can we even go back to the times when there was no TV and internet? Certainly not. But do we as a society have the responsibility and obligation to caution our young people about what they should watch and stay away from, absolutely yes. I believe the best time to do this is not when children become teenagers but when they are still as little as four, five, six and older. At this stage, their minds are still forming and whatever they are taught or warned against can stick with them for a long time. Waiting till they are already in their teens could be too late because by then, they would want to be independent and it could be hard to tell them what to do or not do. 

References

http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/05/health/being-13-teens-social-media-study/

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/teenagers/a/0208_teen_issue.htm

Modesty in Dressing

From A Culture of Decency to Nudity

Choosing what to wear can be an exciting and yet a daunting task for many women. There are times when I could take almost 15 mins or more trying on different cloths to see the ones that match and fit. I know this is the experience of many women too. However, there is a sage that says, “You will be addressed the way you are dressed,” and this simply means that whatever you wear determines how people will treat you and the kind of attention or response you get. Perhaps this understanding has made a lot of women and men pay more attention to what they wear and how they wear it. The wardrobe is not just a place to store or arrange cloths anymore; it has become an essential part of everyone’s life. In fact, it has taken on a life and career of its own. I have a friend who started out as a wardrobe consultant a couple of years back in my home country and she was pretty good at it, even though it was not a popular profession in our African culture. 

The clothing industry has experienced so much transformation over the centuries and it is constantly driven by trends. There was a time when women dressed without exposing any part of their body apart from their head. During this age, it was a sign of modesty to cover up any suggestive part that could attract the opposite sex. But gradually, as the world and the people in it began to evolve, certain things that were considered modesty started to fall away from the cultural fabric of the society. 

When I was preparing for my wedding, I wanted a gown that would not be revealing but all the beautiful ones that I really liked came as tube gowns which I didn’t think were appropriate. Silently, I wondered why most of the gowns had to be tubes. I thought the manufacturers were the ones changing the styles and compelling women to wear revealing gowns. Eventually, I learnt that it wasn’t the manufacturers but the customers themselves that wanted the gowns that way. I went with a friend of mine sometimes last year to shop for her wedding gown somewhere in New York and all the gowns that were available were tubes (just like my case), but she wanted something that wasn’t too revealing as well. She then asked the attendant at the bridal store why they didn’t have gowns that weren’t tubes and she said because people are not buying them. Brides stopped buying them so the manufacturers had to make gowns that people wanted. I was quite shocked to learn that revealing gowns were as a result of customers’ preference and taste and not the manufacturer’s manipulation. This saddened me. How did the human race get to this point? The point where it is now fashionable and socially acceptable to dress in skimpy and revealing cloths, exposing the parts of the body that shouldn’t be seen by the opposite sex? 

I once heard about a story of Muhammed Ali and his daughters. They came to see their father and were dressed in skimpy and revealing cloths. He usually hides behind the door whenever they come just to scare them (I guess that was something he used to do with them when they were much younger). They laughed and played and after a while he sat one of them on his laps and talked with them. He asked them were gold is found, and they said deep in the earth. He then asked his daughters why it is hidden deep in the ground and out of everyone’s sight, and they said because it is precious and expensive. So he pointed out to them that their bodies are more precious than gold so it should not be exposed to eye of everyone. He told them that since their bodies are very precious, they should not reveal it but cover it up nicely. 

The world has gotten to the point were good is termed as bad and bad is now seen as good. What was once a taboo is now a social lifestyle. 

Let’s take a look at how women dress in sports, tennis for example. Back in the 19th century, female tennis players wore floor length dresses and those who wore knee length didn’t go without long stockings. Some even wore bonnets and corsets. Younger girls were allowed to wear calf length skirts because they were still considered school girls. But this style didn’t last for too long. In 1926, French tennis player Suzanne Lenglen wore a revealing calf-length cotton frock with short sleeves. This daring style encouraged many women to begin to loosen up and inculcate a bit of fashion and exposure into their costumes. One would have thought that the sense of modesty would still be retained but as women began to dress fashionably for their matches, little by little the skirts began to grow shorter and the tops more revealing. Up until the 70’s, women dressed modestly for their matches. Their skirts, although were shorter but just a little above their knee. Some still maintained the long sleeves while others wore short sleeves. At the dawn of the 20th century, everything changed. From the knee length skirts to the bump shorts and miniskirts and from the long sleeves shirts to the bra tops and tank tops. 

Some people in an opinion poll said the costumes had to be changed to draw male viewership because in general, men watch sports more than women. It was also stated that it's more socially acceptable for women to wear less clothing and in any sport it's ideal for a person to wear less restrictive clothing, thus, less fabric. Wearing less restrictive clothing is understandable but where do we draw the line between decent and indecent? Some people in the opinion poll also stated that the difference between men's and women's sports is publicity and image. Male sports get more publicity than female sports. So in order to give more publicity to female sports, women need to wear what will make the male folks stay glued to the TV, hence the need for skimpy costumes. 

This trend cannot only be seen in female sports but in other aspects of the society. The sense of modesty in dressing and virtually every aspect of our culture is long gone. Many women now live by a perception of “if you have it, flaunt it.” If you have nice boobs, why hide it? If you have hot legs, put it on display for the world to see. But it wasn’t so during the days of our fore bearers. Women dressed decently and covered up the sexy or should I say the, “tempting” parts of their bodies and guess what? They were respected for it. They were seen as noble, dignified women whether they were rich or poor. Maybe the Victorian and Edwardian garments that they wore back then were too tight and it definitely won’t fit into today’s culture, but modesty can still be applied. However, it is fast declining. Today, modesty and decency doesn’t sell any more, rather sex sells. So does STIs and diseases, teenage pregnancy and abortion, broken relationships and suicide. Our fore bearers may not have had all the education and exposure as we have today, but they had an understanding of what is right and true and they held on to it. Why have we thrown that away for what is wrong and false and sadly killing us?